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Reciting the Sheba Berachot if the Bride and Groom are Not Present

One of the conditions for reciting the seven special blessings – the Sheba Berachot – at a party held for the bride and groom is that they must be present at the celebration. However, although both the bride and groom must be present, they do not have to sit together for the Berachot to be recited. Even if the groom sits with the men in one room during the meal, and the bride sits with the women in a different room, the seven Berachot are recited. As long as they are both present and the meal is made in their honor, the Sheba Berachot are recited.

Furthermore, the bride and groom do not have to be present for the recitation of the Berachot. Even if, for example, the bride and groom receive a phone call before Birkat Ha’mazon that they are needed somewhere else, and thus they leave before the recitation of the Sheba Berachot, the Berachot may nevertheless be recited in their absence. Since the party was held in their honor and they were present for the meal, the Sheba Berachot are recited. By the same token, the bride does not, strictly speaking, have to come and join the groom with the men for Sheba Berachot. This is the ruling of the Aruch Ha’shulhan (Rav Yechiel Michel Epstein of Nevarduk, 1829-1908), in Siman 62 (Se’if 37), and Hacham Ovadia Yosef, in his work Yabia Omer (vol. 6, Eben Ha’ezer 9:2). Nevertheless, both the Aruch Ha’shulhan and Hacham Ovadia note the prevalent practice for the bride to enter the room where the men are sitting for the Sheba Berachot. Since the Berachot are being recited as a blessing for them, it is proper for them both to be present. In the interest of modesty, it is preferable that she does not go and sit among the men, but rather remain by the entrance to the room.

In any event, as mentioned, this is not required according to the strict Halacha, for the Berachot may be recited even in the bride and groom’s absence, as long as the party was held in their honor and they were present for the meal.

Summary: The Sheba Berachot are recited after a celebration for the bride and groom as long as the celebration was held in their honor, and they were present for the meal, even if they sat separately, and even if they left before Birkat Ha’mazon. It is customary for the bride to come near the entrance of the room where the men are sitting for the Sheba Berachot, since the Berachot are recited in honor of the couple, though this is not required according to the strict Halacha.

 


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