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Honoring Parents When Entering or Exiting a Room and While Walking with Them; Honoring One’s Parents’ Friends and Siblings

Just as Halacha requires one to stand when his father or mother enters the room, as an expression of honor, similarly, one must give honor to his parents when entering or exiting a room with them. Meaning, one is required to allow his father or mother to enter or exit the room first, as a sign of respect. This requirement should be blatantly obvious, but unfortunately we live in a generation when people do not afford respect to their parents or the elderly, and it is therefore necessary to reiterate what should ideally be self-evident guidelines for respecting parents.

One must also show his parents respect when he walks with them. If a parent walks with one of his or her children, the child should allow the parent to walk on the right side, which is considered the more respectful position. If a parent walks with two of his or her children, then the children should allow the parent to walk in the middle as a sign of respect. One child should walk to the parent’s right, and the other to the parent’s left. This Halacha, too, is often unfortunately neglected, but we must endeavor to observe this requirement in order to properly fulfill the Misva of honoring parents.

The Hafetz Haim (Rav Yisrael Meir of Radin, 1839-1933) noted that the obligation to honor parents requires a person to honor those whom his parents honor, meaning, his parents’ close friends and associates. Of course, it is important to act respectfully and courteously to all people, but one must act with extra respect to his parents’ close friends, as he thereby shows honor to his parents. By the same token, one should respect his parents’ siblings – meaning, his aunts and uncles – as an extension of the requirement to honor his parents. It is improper to call one’s aunts and uncles by their first names; one should instead refer to them by the title "Aunt" or "Uncle." Today, unfortunately, many people are unaware of this Halacha and speak too casually with their aunts and uncles, calling them by their first names. This is improper; one should speak with respect to his aunts and uncles, and not refer to them by their first names, as in this way he shows honor to his parents.

Summary: One must allow his father or mother to exit or enter a room first. When one walks with a parent, he should walk on the left side, and the parent on the right side. If two siblings walk together with a parent, the parent should be positioned in the middle. The obligation to honor parents requires also showing honor to one’s parents’ close friends and siblings.

 


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