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Offering Spiritual Advice to an Ailing Patient

Rabbi Eliezer Waldenberg (Israel, 1915-2006) allocates a portion of his monumental work Sitz Eliezer to discussing the laws relevant to the Misva of Bikur Holim – visiting the sick. This treatise is called "Ramat Rahel" and appears in the fifth volume of Sitz Eliezer. As much as we hope and pray never to have to apply these Halachot, it is important that we familiarize ourselves with them so that we are prepared if, Heaven forbid, somebody we know falls ill.

In chapter 27, Rabbi Waldenberg notes that the Misva of Bikur Holim includes the obligation to offer spiritual guidance and counseling. Of course, thought must be given to determine who should be the one offering this guidance. However, it is imperative that the ill patient receive spiritual guidance as to the measures he should take to earn the merits he needs to recover from his condition. Rabbi Waldenberg cites a comment made by the Sefat Emet (Rabbi Yehuda Aryeh Leib Alter of Ger, Poland, 1847-1905) concerning the term "Bikur" with which the Sages refer to this Misva. This term means "visit" but can also refer to inquiry and examination. A person visiting an ill patient should advise the patient to make an "inquiry," to conduct introspection and determine which areas of his religious life require improvement, so that he can earn merits through which to regain good health. This is particularly so in the case of serious illness, God forbid, when every merit earned could make the difference and enable the patient to survive.

Specifically, Rav Waldenberg writes, an ill patient should be advised to make amends with those whom he has wronged, and to forgive those who have wronged him. The Sages teach that one who accustoms himself to forgiving others will himself earn forgiveness from God. It is therefore advisable for an ill patient to forgive those who have wronged him, so that he could earn the Almighty’s forgiveness in reward.

Rav Waldenberg also cites the Ahabat Hesed (work about acts of kindness by Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan, 1839-1933) as advising ill patients to give charity as a means of earning merit. It is specifically advisable for a patient to donate charity to a public institution. If a person had, at some point, stolen money from the public, in which case it is impossible to return the funds to all the victims, he can earn atonement by donating to an institution which serves the public. In this way, he will be paying back at least some of the people whom he had wronged. Therefore, if possible, an ill patient should make a point of ordering that a charitable donation be made from his account.

It is proper for a woman who falls ill to recommit herself to the Misvot of Nida (family purity), separating Halla from dough used in baking, and the Shabbat candles, so that this merit will help her earn good health.

If a seriously ill patient has not yet put his affairs in order and determined the distribution of his assets after his death, it is critically important for him to do so when this is still possible. While it is certainly discomfiting to prepare for one’s passing, one must do what he can to avoid strife and conflict among family members after his death. Ill patients must therefore be advised to resolve any outstanding issues of this nature.

May Hashem bless us that these Halachot should never become practically applicable, and that we have only happy occasions to celebrate with our families.

Summary: The Misva of visiting the sick includes advising the patient – in an appropriate manner – to repent, to forgive those whom he has wronged, and to donate charity to public institutions. He should also be advised to settle his affairs in case, Heaven forbid, he does not survive his illness.

 


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