*** This Halacha deals with topic of Yichud. Yichud is the concept that a man may not be secluded with a forbidden woman. Please read all the Halachot on this topic as there are conditions and exclusions that must be fully understood before accepting Lema’ase. ***
We said that a man’s wife protects her husband from improprieties and effects an exclusion to the laws of Yichud when there is another woman present. This concept is called ‘Ishto Mishamarto’, which in English translates to; ‘his wife protects him’. So today, we will discuss three questions on this leniency.
The first question we discuss asks if this exclusion applies if the wife is asleep. Can we say that a wife protects her husband even when she is sleeping, or does she need to be awake? The Meiri (Rav Menachem Meiri) who was one of the Rishonim, in Gemara Kidushin says that this leniency does apply even when the wife is sleeping. She is in the house at the time, and she can get up any moment, and as such the husband is aware and fearful. He will not be commit transgression for she is in the house, and therefore the exclusion of ‘Ishto Mishamarto’ applies.
The second question we discuss is whether or not the leniency of ‘Ishto Mishamarto’ applies by a Goy? Can a Jewish lady be secluded with a non-Jewish man, if the man’s wife is in the house? Do we say that there is a problem of Yichud, or do we say that the man’s wife protects him under the leniency of ‘Ishto Mishamarto’? The Rambam addresses this question and he writes clearly in the laws of Yichud that we do NOT apply the leniency of ‘Ishto Mishamarto’ by a Goy like we do by a Jew. Goyim follow different customs and a different way of life, and it is therefore forbidden for a Jewish lady to be secluded with a Goy even if the Goy’s wife is present. That is the way Poskim hold. A Jewish lady may not even be secluded even with many Goyim when their wives are present. The Halacha, the leniency of ‘Ishto Mishamarto’ does not apply by a Goy.
The last question we deal with today is whether or not it is permissible to house a female guest permanently. The Shevet HaLevi (Rav Shmuel Halevi Wosner) was asked this question, and he answered that it is not proper to have a permanent female guest in a married couple’s house even though the wife is there. ‘Ishto Mishamarto’ would not apply in such a case because it may lead to temptation and problems. This is how the Shevet HaLevi holds, and this is how the Tzitz Eliezer (Rav Eliezer Waldenberg) holds, who told of communities that imposed Takanot (decrees) on this ruling. However, Shevet HaLevi does say that the leniency of ‘Ishto Mishamarto’ does apply by a temporary guest, and that it is permissible to allow a transient visitor to stay over. Now there may be situations that are regarded as exceptions to this rule of a permanent guest. They are the exception and not the rule, and one MUST seek out guidance from his Rabbi on such a matter.
So we discussed 3 Halachot today. ‘Ishto Mishamarto’ is applicable when one’s wife is asleep. ‘Ishto Mishamarto’ does not apply by Goyim. And lastly, the Shevet HaLevi is Machmir and does not apply ‘Ishto Mishamarto’ to permit a permanent female guest, but one should ask his local Rabbi if warranted.
