*** This Halacha deals with topic of Yichud. Yichud is the concept that a man may not be secluded with a forbidden woman. Please read all the Halachot on this topic as there are conditions and exclusions that must be fully understood before accepting Lema’ase. ***
There is a question asked in regards to the law of Yichud. Yichud is the rule that prohibits man from being secluded with forbidden women. So the question that we deal with today is regarding a married woman who is Needah. A married woman who is Needah is considered forbidden. So since she is forbidden, that how is it possible for a fellow to live with his wife while she is Needah? It’s a restriction whereby the punishment for transgressing this rule is Karet. So is there an exemption for a husband to live with his wife when she is Needah?
It sounds like a radical question, but the Gemara actually discusses it in Sanhedrin. There, the Gemara refers to a Pasuk in Shir Hashirim, which states, ‘Suga BaShoshanim.’ Literally, this means a ‘Fence of Roses’. The Gemara comes to teach us that in this case of a married couple, that it is enough to build a mild fence rather than a strong fence. The mild fence corresponds to a fence of roses, meaning that it is enough for Jewish couples to realize the prohibition while the wife is Needah, and as such to remain apart. There is no need to build a strong fence, meaning a physical separation. Since Halacha says to refrain from interaction, so therefore we presume that married couples will abide and adhere. The Halacha serves as the fence.
The Tosafot (basic commentary by many scholars throughout the 12th and 13th centuries) explains the logic. Since the wife is only temporarily forbidden, so then why would they make a transgression if they can just wait a week or two when she becomes permissible? We know that in the case of other women who are not the wife, they can never become permissible, and it is therefore always forbidden for the man to be secluded with them. But in this situation of husband and wife, the Needah situation is temporary. Therefore, it is permissible for husband and wife to remain together in the house while she is Needah.
The Rosh, (Rav Asher ben Yechiel 1250-1327) brings a different reason. It’s worthy to hear his language. [Listen to the audio clip for the exact quote.] He writes that it is too difficult for the husband and wife to be parted. What are you going to tell the husband and wife? Are you going to tell him or her to move out of the house every month for 2 weeks? Of course not. So the Rosh says that the Chachamim were lenient on this subject because the alternatives are just too difficult.
So the question was asked in Halacha about, G-d forbid, a married couple who have decided to get divorced, where they are already going through the paperwork and the litigation to finalize a Gittin, and in the interim she does not go to the Mikveh for the divorce is at hand and there is no hope. There is no chance they are going to reconcile, and they already went to the Shalom Bayit counselors and to the Rabbis, and unfortunately it’s hopeless on both sides. So the question was asked if they are allowed to live together in the same house. On this, the Halacha says that even though technically they are still married, but since they are planning to divorce and since she did not go to the Mikveh, therefore they may NOT live together. One of them has to move out. However, in a case where there is still a chance for reconciliation, where they are talking to the Chachamim and to counselors, and as long as she goes to the Mikveh, then it is permissible for them to remain in the same home.
