** Rabbi Mansour's Famous Shabbat Seudat Shelishit Speech Resumes in Brooklyn at the Brand New Totally Renovated Ahi Ezer Social Hall- Shabbat Netzavim, 6:30 PM, 25 Elul (Sept 11th) **
Halacha writes that if a person’s wife is Needah, he is not allowed to sit down with her and eat at a table unless he puts on the table a Heker. A Heker is something that reminds them that she is Needah. The purpose of this is to prevent them from coming and making an Avera (transgression). The item should be something that is not normally placed on the table. Examples are; a vase that’s not normally on the table, or a loaf of bread that they are not eating, or a pitcher of water that they are not drinking from, etc. These are the type of items that can serve as a Heker.
Placing atypical items on the table is not the only option. A Heker can also be if the husband or wife changes their seat from where they normally sit. Or a Heker can be where one is eating with a placemat and the other is not. A Heker can be where one is eating directly from the table and the other is eating on a table cloth. These are just some examples of an irregular action or item that would suffice. It is also OK, if the husband and wife are eating at a long table where they each sit on opposite heads of the table. They in such a case would be sitting far from each other, and thus would not even need a Heker.
Now, the above Heker applies only when they are eating alone. When there are other people at the table, then no Heker is necessary. Even if the other people at the table are their family, Chacham Ovadia Yoseph is lenient and they would not need a Heker, so long as the other family members are old enough whereas the husband and wife would not come to commit an Avera.
For that matter, if a married couple is at a restaurant, and they are eating at a private table, there should be something on the table that is normally not there in order to make a Heker, when they are eating alone and she is Needah.
