Today our Daily Halacha takes on somewhat a different form. Today we are discussing an opinion expressed by Rav Menashe Klein, who was called The Mishne Halachot. It seems that a certain circle of friends gathered weekly to dine and socialize. These were couples, meaning that it was husbands and wives who would weekly dine and socialize with other husbands and wives. The Rabbi gave an opinion, and said he was not happy with this practice. So one of the participants wrote to the Rabbi puzzled for he believed that supporting friendship and unity was in deed a Mitzvah. The Rabbi wrote back and responded that purporting friendship and unity is a great deed and Mitzvah for the Jewish people, however there is a right way and wrong way to achieve this. He says that couples should not get together but rather the men should gather at Bet HaMidrash, and the ladies should go and do their thing. The Rabbis said that such would be more appropriate and how people should socialize.
The Rabbi said that Chas Veshalom, it can create problems when couples overly socialize with each other while in each other’s houses, or on vacations, or even when dining out together excessively. It seems that Rav Menashe Klein was a great realist for he understood the issues that can come out.
To further expound his point, the Rabbi brought a story from Rashi in Masechet Sanhedrin on page 86. The story is about problems that arose in a housing development, where the homes were close to each other in proximity. Problems among couples arose even though they were not in the same room, but simply within the same development. So the Rabbi says how all the more so is there an issue when couples fraternize with each other in a simple social gathering.
This might seem radical, since we today are so far removed from the laws of Tzineeut, but the Rabbi quotes the Bet Shemuel who said that some Berachot can not be made at a wedding if a proper Mechitza (form of physical separation between men and women) is not present. You can not make Birkat Chatanim, because in a place where there is Yetzer Hara you can not say ‘Shehakol Bara Lichvodo’. What Lichvodo, for there is no Shechina (Divine spirit) in such a place.
Rav Menashe Klein then quotes from the Igeret Teshuva of Rabenu Yona, that ladies have to be modest in their dress to such a degree whereby they shouldn’t be looked at it. Except for her husband, a lady is not allowed to cause others to look at her. In fact, she gets punished when causing others to glance, or to look, or to stare, or to gaze.
I say this for we are in the summer season and unfortunately the laws of Tzineeut are being tended to in quite a deficient manner. The adherence to modest dress and modest social manner is weak even in the winter months, and scarce at our parties and at our weddings, and in the street in general. So all the more so, we must be vigilant and be extra careful during the summer season, and not fall prey to the lure of haughtiness.
I was recently speaking to a girl’s class, and one of the students who was dressed modestly expressed that she was very hot in her attire. It was hot outside. I replied that in such heat, even a woman who was dressed immodestly would state that she is uncomfortably hot. So what is the difference? Everyone is hot. Nobody is cool in the summer. The lady that is dressed modestly is hot and the lady that is dressed not modestly is hot. So I explained that the ladies who are modest are only hot in this world, but in the future, Be’Ezrat Hashem, they will be cooled.
We have to be strong. We can not let ourselves minimize the importance of proper dress, proper socializing, and proper mannerism. I don’t know if we should call this lesson today a Daily Halacha, or a Daily Musar, or Daily Advice, but the point is that we have to be strong, and now as we are in the summer, we have to be more careful about our modesty. It is too easy to fall to temptation, as we see from Rav Menashe Klein who even declared that something as innocent as social dining is dangerous and could lead, Chas VeShalom, to dangerous behavior.
The Gemara says that you can’t trust yourselves and you can not trust anybody when it comes to the subject of immortally. It is a weakness of mankind. And therefore, the realists like Rav Menashe Klein, put up fences and blockades, in order they shouldn’t Chas Veshalom make mistakes or succumb to any sort of impropriety.
