A person who loses an immediate relative, Heaven forbid, has the status of "Onen" from the time of the family member’s passing until the burial. During this period of "Aninut," he is exempt from all Misvot, including the recitation of Berachot. In order to ensure that he focuses his attention fully on the burial needs of the deceased, Halacha exempts an Onen from Misva obligation. In fact, it is improper for an Onen to perform Misvot, as this diminishes from his focus upon the needs of the deceased.
One exception to this rule is wearing a Tallit Katan. Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Jerusalem, 1910-1995) ruled that since the Tallit Katan is part of the mourner’s normal attire, he may wear it even as an Onen, as it will not diminish from his focus on the burial. This is no different, Rav Shlomo Zalman noted, from Misvot that one fulfills in his thoughts, which may be fulfilled during the period of Aninut.
May an Onen give charity?
Rav Shlomo Zalman ruled that if an Onen wishes to give charity to benefit the soul of the deceased, then not only is this permissible, but to the contrary, it fulfills the objective of Aninut, which is to care for the needs of the deceased. It would therefore certainly be appropriate and even admirable for an Onen to give charity to benefit the soul of his deceased family member.
If an Onen mistakenly recites a Beracha, those who hear the Beracha should not answer "Amen." Since the Beracha was unwarranted and should not have been recited, it does not warrant the response of "Amen." This is the view of Tosafot (Talmud commentaries by Medieval French and German scholars) in Masechet Mo’ed Katan (28).
If a person becomes an Onen, Heaven forbid, during the period of Sefirat Ha’omer, may he count the Omer, so that he will not miss a full day of counting?
In most cases, this question does not arise, because a person does not normally remain an Onen for an entire twenty-four-hour period. If a family member passed away at night, before one counted the Omer, it is likely that the burial will take place before sundown the following day, in which case he should count the Omer after the burial, when he is no longer an Onen. He would count the Omer without a Beracha, just as one does if he forgot to count at night and counts during the day. The question arises, however, in a situation where the burial did not take place before sundown on the following day, such that one remained an Onen throughout the 24 hours when the Omer could have been counted. If he does not count the Omer at some point during that day, he will then be unable to continue counting with a Beracha. Is he allowed to count the Omer despite his status as an Onen, or must he miss a day of counting?
The Bei’ur Halacha (commentary by Rav Yisrael Meir Kagan of Radin, 1839-1933), in Siman 489, cites the view of the Noda B’yehuda (Rav Yechezkel Landau of Prague, 1713-1793) allowing an Onen to count the Omer without a Beracha in such a case, so that he does not miss an entire day of counting. Hacham Ovadia Yosef, however, disagrees, noting that if an individual is exempt from the obligation of Sefirat Ha’omer, then even if he counts, he will be considered to have missed a day of counting. If one counts the Omer when the Misva does not apply to him, then he is not considered as having fulfilled that day’s obligation of counting, since he did not perform a Halachically mandated counting. As such, he will in any event be considered to have missed a day. Therefore, according to Hacham Ovadia, one should not count the Omer in a state of Aninut, even if this means that he will be unable to continue counting with a Beracha. Hacham Ovadia notes that this is the view taken by several other authorities, including the Shalmeh Sibur and Rav Haim Palachi.
Summary: A person who loses an immediate relative, Heaven forbid, should not perform Misvot or recite Berachot until after the burial. If he mistakenly recites a Beracha, those who hear the Beracha should not answer "Amen." He may, however, wear a Tallit Katan, and give charity to benefit the soul of the deceased. If this happens during the Omer period, he should not count Sefirat Ha’omer, even if this means that he will miss a full day and thus be unable to continue counting with a Beracha. In most cases, however, the burial will take place before sundown, thus allowing the mourner to count the Omer before the end of the day.
