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The Proper Procedure for Reciting Sheba Berachot During the Week After a Wedding

It is customary for friends and family of a newlywed couple to make special festive meals for the bride and groom during the week after the wedding. At these meals, special Berachot are recited after Birkat Hamazon, which we commonly call, "Sheba Berachot." What is the proper procedure for reciting these Berachot?

According to Maran (Rav Yosef Karo, author of the Shulhan Aruch), the seven Berachot are recited only if all three of the following conditions are met:

1) At least ten men are present;
2) At least two people who had not previously celebrated with the bride and groom are present;
3) The meal takes place in the home of the bride and groom.

If all three conditions are met, then the seven Berachot are recited over a separate cup of wine after Birkat Hamazon. Before Birkat Hamazon, two cups of wine are poured, and one is given to the Mezamen, the person leading Birkat Hamazon. He recites the Zimun and Birkat Hamazon over his cup of wine. Immediately following Birkat Hamazon, the second cup is given to another individual, who recites the first of the Sheba Berachot ("She’ha’kol Bara Li’chbodo"). The cup is then passed around to those reciting the other Berachot. After the final Beracha ("Asher Bara Sason Ve’simha") is recited, the Mezamen recites the Beracha of "Boreh Peri Ha’gefen" over his cup of wine, and drinks some of the wine. Then, the wine from the two cups is mixed together and given to the bride and groom.

In most cases, these meals do not take place in the couple’s home, and are instead hosted in other people’s homes or held as catered affairs. According to the Shulhan Aruch, under such circumstances only one of the Sheba Berachot is recited – the Beracha of "Asher Bara Sason Ve’simha." If the other Berachot are recited, according to Maran, these Berachot constitute "Berachot Le’batala" (Berachot recited in vain). In a case where any of the aforementioned three conditions are not met, then only one cup of wine is poured and given to the Mezamen, who recites the Zimun and Birkat Hamazon as usual over the cup of wine. After Birkat Hamazon, he recites the Beracha of "Boreh Peri Ha’gefen" followed by the Beracha of "Asher Bara Sason Ve’simha," and then drinks the wine. It should be noted that this Beracha may be recited even if only three men are present. The recitation of this Beracha does not require a Minyan, and requires simply the presence of three men for a Zimun.

Summary: The seven blessings of the Sheba Berachot are not recited unless the meal takes place in the bride and groom’s home, at least ten men are present, and at least two of the people present had not previously participated in the celebrations. If even one of these conditions is not met, then only the Beracha of "Asher Bara Sason Ve’simha" is recited. This Beracha may be recited even without a Minyan, if at least three men are present.

 


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