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Standing at a Wedding Ceremony, Berit Mila and Pidyon Ha'ben

Is it proper to stand while attending a wedding ceremony, when the bride and groom stand under the Hupa? The bride and groom themselves, of course, stand throughout the entire Hupa ceremony. Is it proper for the guests to stand, as well?

The Tikunei Ha'Zohar indeed writes that one should stand at a wedding ceremony, since at that moment the groom has the status of a king, and should thus be shown honor and respect. Many later authorities similarly record the custom to stand during the Hupa ceremony as an expression of respect, and Hacham Ovadia Yosef (in Yabia Omer, vol. 6) notes that the prevalent practice in Jerusalem is to stand as the Sheba Berachot (seven blessings) are recited under the Hupa. It is, in fact, very common in Israel for people to stand throughout the Hupa ceremony, and often chairs are not even placed in the room for people to sit.

Clearly, the practice is our community is to sit during the Hupa. Possibly, this custom arose in the interest of minimizing noise and commotion during the Hupa ceremony, or to avoid inappropriate mingling between men and women. In any event, this is the commonly accepted practice and should not be changed.

It is, however, quite common for people to stand during a Berit Mila ceremony, from the moment the infant is brought into the room. We stand on this occasion in order to show honor to the parents who are fulfilling the great Misva of bringing their newborn son into the covenant. The basis for this concept is a Mishna in Masechet Bikurim which describes the elaborate ceremony with which people would bring their Bikurim (first fruits) to the Bet Ha'mikdash. The Mishna tells that when the shopkeepers of Jerusalem would see the procession of people bringing Bikurim, they would promptly stop their work and stand in front of their shops in honor of the pilgrims who have come to fulfill the special Misva of Bikurim. Similarly, one should show admiration and respect to the parents at a Berit Mila and stand in their honor throughout the Berit Mila ceremony.

It follows from this discussion that guests should stand at a Pidyon Ha'ben ceremony, as well. Although this is not customarily done, it would seem that standing at a Pidyon Ha'ben has even a stronger basis than standing during a Berit Mila. The Misva of Pidyon Ha'ben – "redeeming" one's firstborn son – is closely associated with the Misva of Bikurim (a term which closely relates to "Bechor," "firstborn"), which requires bringing one's first fruits to the Mikdash. Thus, just as the people would stand in honor of those bringing Bikurim, so would it be proper to stand in honor of the parents performing a Pidyon Ha'ben.

Summary: It is customary in our community to sit during the Hupa ceremony, whereas in Israel people commonly stand. One should, however, stand during a Berit Mila and Pidyon Ha'ben.

 


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