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Kissing Somebody After He Received an Aliya

Many people have the custom to embrace and kiss somebody as he returns to his seat after he receives an Aliya to the Torah in the synagogue. One might, at first glance, question whether such a practice is permissible. The Rama (Rabbi Moshe Isserles, Poland, 1520-1572), in his glosses to the Shulhan Aruch (Orah Haim 98), writes that one should not kiss his young children in the synagogue (listen to audio recording for precise citation). He explains that this prohibition serves to "instill within one’s heart that there is no love like the love for the Almighty, blessed is He." In the synagogue, it is inappropriate to express to love to anybody except God, and Halacha therefore forbids kissing one’s small children in the synagogue. Perhaps, then, we should forbid as well kissing a person as he returns from an Aliya to the Torah.

In truth, however, Hacham Ben Sion Abba Shaul (Israel, 1923-1998) defends this practice, noting the distinction between different types of kissing. The Rama forbids kissing as an expression of love; kissing as an expression of respect and honor, however, is permissible. When one kisses his father or Rabbi after an Aliya, this is done as a sign of respect, rather than affection, and there is therefore room for leniency in this regard. And certainly, as noted by the Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909), the custom to kiss one’s father’s hand after he receives an Aliya does not violate this prohibition, as kissing a hand undoubtedly serves as an expression of respect, as opposed to love. Hacham Ben Sion adds that even those accustomed to kissing on the cheek may continue this practice, since this kind of kissing, too, serves as a sign of respect.

Summary: Although it is forbidden to kiss one’s young children in the synagogue, those who have the practice to kiss those who return to their seat after receiving an Aliya may continue this practice.

 


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