DailyHalacha.com for Mobile Devices Now Available

Click Here to Sponsor Daily Halacha
"Delivered to Over 6000 Registered Recipients Each Day"

      
(File size: 938 KB)
Attending a Wedding at the Expense of a Torah Class

If a person normally attends a Shiur (Torah class) on a certain night of the week, and one week he has a wedding to attend that night, which takes precedence?

The Vilna Gaon (Rav Eliyahu of Vilna, 1720-1797) noted that the Book of Mishleh speaks of an "Et Rekod" – "a time for dancing" – using the word "Rekod" instead of "Li’rkod." The missing "Lamed" in this word, the Gaon explained, alludes to the fact that when it is time to dance at a wedding, this Misva overrides "Lamed" – learning. The Misva of "Mesame’ah Hatan Ve’kala" – celebrating with the bride and groom – is so important that it even overrides Torah study. Therefore, participating in wedding festivities takes precedence over learning Torah.

However, this applies only to the "Rekod" – the dancing, as opposed to the ceremony. At the Hupa ceremony, the Hatan and Kala fulfill a Misva, but the people in attendance do not actively participate in a Misva. While it is certainly meaningful, and the guests answer "Amen" to several Berachot, this does not override Torah learning. Therefore, a person who has a scheduled learning session or Shiur at night should not miss his learning to attend the Hupa, but should miss learning for the dancing, in order to fulfill the Misva of celebrating with a bride and groom. It should also be noted that often the ceremony is delayed and begins well after its scheduled time, and thus one who attends a Hupa may end up spending the majority of his evening at the affair. Therefore, when possible, one should try to attend his regular Shiur and then go to the reception for the dancing and celebration.

An important exception to this rule is when attendance at the Hupa fulfills a Misva. If the Hatan and Kala, for whatever reason, do not have many people attending their wedding, and certainly if they might not have a Minyan at the ceremony, it is, without question, a Misva to attend the Hupa to bring the couple joy. And therefore under such circumstances, the Misva of attending the ceremony would override the Misva of Torah learning.

(Based on Rav Rahamim Moshe Shayo’s "Mehkereh Eretz," p. 295)

Summary: If a person has a conflict between his regular Torah class and a wedding, the Misva of dancing with the bride and groom takes precedence, and thus he should attend the reception at the expense of his Torah class. He should not, however, miss his Torah class to attend the Hupa, unless the couple will not be having many guests at the Hupa, in which case it is a Misva to attend the Hupa even at the expense of Torah learning.

 


Recent Daily Halachot...
The Week of Tisha B’Ab – Using Fresh Linens, Wearing a Freshly-Cleaned Tallit, and Ironing Garments
Is it Permissible to Eat Fish at the Final Meal Before Tisha B’Ab?
The Divergent Customs of the Sepharadim and Ashkenazim Regarding Bathing During the Nine Days
The Prohibition Against Taking a Hot Shower During the Week of Tisha B’Ab
Preparing One’s Clothes For the Week of Tisha B’Ab
Tisha BeAv- Brit Milah on Tisha BeAv
Some Laws of Motza'ei Tisha B'Av and the Tenth of Av
Extending Greetings on Tisha B’Ab and Haircutting, Shaving and Nail Cutting During the Week of Tisha B’Ab
Tisha BeAb – Wearing Freshly-Laundered Clothing; Washing Dishes
A Biblical Allusion to the Special Haftarot Before and After Tisha B’Ab
Habdala When Tisha B’Ab Falls on Sunday
Preparing Clothes Before the Week of Tisha B'Av
Tisha BeAv- Is It Permissible To Take Medicine and Wash Hands On Tisha BeAv
Tisha BeAv- Is it Permissible To Take A Hot Shower, Eat Meat, Shave And Clean Clothes At Then End of The Fast
Tisha BeAv- When Is It Appropriate To Remove One’s Shoes When Tisha BeAv Falls Out On Motzae Shabbat
Page of 239
3585 Halachot found