DailyHalacha.com for Mobile Devices Now Available

Click Here to Sponsor Daily Halacha
"Delivered to Over 6000 Registered Recipients Each Day"

      
(File size: 938 KB)
Attending a Wedding at the Expense of a Torah Class

If a person normally attends a Shiur (Torah class) on a certain night of the week, and one week he has a wedding to attend that night, which takes precedence?

The Vilna Gaon (Rav Eliyahu of Vilna, 1720-1797) noted that the Book of Mishleh speaks of an "Et Rekod" – "a time for dancing" – using the word "Rekod" instead of "Li’rkod." The missing "Lamed" in this word, the Gaon explained, alludes to the fact that when it is time to dance at a wedding, this Misva overrides "Lamed" – learning. The Misva of "Mesame’ah Hatan Ve’kala" – celebrating with the bride and groom – is so important that it even overrides Torah study. Therefore, participating in wedding festivities takes precedence over learning Torah.

However, this applies only to the "Rekod" – the dancing, as opposed to the ceremony. At the Hupa ceremony, the Hatan and Kala fulfill a Misva, but the people in attendance do not actively participate in a Misva. While it is certainly meaningful, and the guests answer "Amen" to several Berachot, this does not override Torah learning. Therefore, a person who has a scheduled learning session or Shiur at night should not miss his learning to attend the Hupa, but should miss learning for the dancing, in order to fulfill the Misva of celebrating with a bride and groom. It should also be noted that often the ceremony is delayed and begins well after its scheduled time, and thus one who attends a Hupa may end up spending the majority of his evening at the affair. Therefore, when possible, one should try to attend his regular Shiur and then go to the reception for the dancing and celebration.

An important exception to this rule is when attendance at the Hupa fulfills a Misva. If the Hatan and Kala, for whatever reason, do not have many people attending their wedding, and certainly if they might not have a Minyan at the ceremony, it is, without question, a Misva to attend the Hupa to bring the couple joy. And therefore under such circumstances, the Misva of attending the ceremony would override the Misva of Torah learning.

(Based on Rav Rahamim Moshe Shayo’s "Mehkereh Eretz," p. 295)

Summary: If a person has a conflict between his regular Torah class and a wedding, the Misva of dancing with the bride and groom takes precedence, and thus he should attend the reception at the expense of his Torah class. He should not, however, miss his Torah class to attend the Hupa, unless the couple will not be having many guests at the Hupa, in which case it is a Misva to attend the Hupa even at the expense of Torah learning.

 


Recent Daily Halachot...
The Sephardic Custom Concerning the "Yihud" of a Bride and Groom
The Wedding Ceremony – The Proper Pronunciation of “Al Yedeh Hupa Be’kiddushin”; the Custom to Break a Glass
Reciting Sheva Berachot After Sundown of the Seventh Day After a Wedding
Reciting Sheba Berachot at a Meal That Was Not Specifically Prepared for the Bride and Groom
May a Person Who Did Not Eat at a Sheba Berachot Celebration Recite One of the Berachot?
Sheba Berachot – If Somebody Did Not Eat Bread at the Meal, Reciting the Berachot Seated
Are the Sheba Berachot Recited if the Bride and Groom Did Not Eat?
Reciting the Sheba Berachot if the Bride and Groom are Not Present
Nidda – Abstaining During “Onat Ha’hodesh” and “Onat Hahaflaga”
The Obligation to Abstain From Relations at the Time When the Wife is Likely to Become a Nidda
The “Tikkun Ha’kelali” – Repairing the Damage Caused by Making Oneself Impure
The Proper Procedure for Sheba Berachot That is Not Held in the Couple’s Home
Making Weddings at Night
Does Dandruff in the Hair Disqualify a Woman’s Immersion in a Mikveh?
Understanding The Beracha of ‘VeTzivanu Al Ha’Arayot’ At The Wedding Ceremony
Page of 239
3585 Halachot found