(Delivered for the merit of a Refuah Shelemah for Ateret Roshenu Hacham Haim Ovadia Ben Georgia)
The Shulhan Aruch (Orah Haim 249:2) rules that it is forbidden on Friday to "establish" a larger meal than one normally eats on weekdays. One may eat an ordinary meal on Friday, though the Shulhan Aruch writes that it is a Misva to refrain from eating a meal starting from nine hours into the day. The source of this Halacha is the Gemara’s comment in Masechet Gittin (38b) that a certain family in Jerusalem was destroyed because they "established a meal on Ereb Shabbat."
Several Rishonim (Medieval Talmud scholars), including the Ritba (Rabbi Yom Tov of Seville, 1250-1330), raised the question of how to reconcile this account with the explicit ruling of the Gemara elsewhere (citing Rabbi Yossi), in Masechet Pesahim (99b), that one is allowed to eat anytime on Friday, until nightfall. They answer by distinguishing between occasionally eating a meal on Friday afternoon, and scheduling a weekly meal late Friday afternoon. When the Gemara speakss of a family that "established" a meal on Friday afternoon, it does not mean they did this once. Rather, their routine was to eat a large meal at that time each week, which is inappropriate, as it infringes upon the honor of Shabbat. Certainly, however, if one happens to be hungry one Friday, even late in the day, he may eat a meal, as long as it is not an exceptionally large meal that he does not ordinarily eat on weekdays.
Accordingly, Hacham Ovadia Yosef writes that when the Shulhan Aruch rules that one should not "establish a meal" from the ninth hour on Friday, he refers to establishing a weekly meal each Friday afternoon. It is permissible, however, to have a meal on Friday afternoon on occasion, when necessary.
It is forbidden to hold a formal Se’udat Erusin (engagement party) on Friday, as this could be done on a different day. However, a small party where light refreshments are served may be held on Friday. Weddings may be held on Friday, but the festive meal should be eaten on Friday night, and not during the day. A Siyum Masechet should not be held on Friday, as it could be easily scheduled for a different day. If the day for a Berit Mila or Pidyon Ha’ben is Friday, a festive meal may be held, though it is preferable in such a case to have the meal in the morning. In the case of a Pidyon Ha’ben, it is preferable, when possible, to schedule the Pidyon Ha’ben and meal on Thursday night. If a boy’s thirteenth birthday falls on Friday, a meal may be held celebrating his Bar Misva, but this, too, should preferably be held in the morning hours.
Summary: It is forbidden throughout the day Friday to eat a meal that is larger than meals one normally eats on weekdays. Otherwise, one may eat on Friday, though it is improper to schedule a weekly meal for late Friday afternoon. A celebration for a Bar Misva on the boy’s thirteenth birthday, and a Pidyon Ha’ben and Berit Mila, may be held on Friday, though it should preferably be held specifically in the morning. An engagement party may be held on Friday only if light refreshments are served, as opposed to a large meal.
