Under the Hupa, the groom performs Kiddushin (betrothal) by handing the bride a ring and declaring that this is done for the sake of betrothal. In modern times, it has become common in some circles for the bride and groom to exchange rings; after the groom gives the bride a ring, the bride then gives a ring to the groom. The Halachic authorities addressed the question as to whether a "double ring ceremony" is legitimate from a Halachic standpoint. It is clear that the transfer of a ring from the bride to the groom has no Halachic value with respect to the Kiddushin, and is considered no more than a gift. Kiddushin is performed through the groom’s giving an object of value to the bride, and the bride’s giving something to the groom is immaterial. The question, though, is whether this double exchange may be done under the Hupa, or whether it should be discouraged.
Rav Moshe Feinstein (Russia-New York, 1895-1986), in his Iggerot Moshe (Eben Ha’ezer, vol. 3, 18), wrote that this practice is improper, for two reasons. First, it might violate the prohibition against imitating the practices of non-Jews. Secondly, if double ring ceremonies become standard, people will mistakenly think that the Kiddushin depends upon the transfer of rings from both the groom to the bride and the bride to the groom. This could result in situations where people will assume that a married couple is not married, because the bride did not give a ring to the groom, which could lead to grave violations.
The Halachic authorities note that if a double ring ceremony was performed, the Kiddushin is nevertheless valid, but it certainly should be avoided.
The work Mishnat Yehoshua cites a different responsum of Rav Moshe Feinstein (Eben Ha’ezer, vol. 4, 13) where he rules that if a couple insists on doing a double ring ceremony, the Rabbi should explain to them that the bride’s giving a ring to the groom has no Halachic implications, and is merely a gift. Ideally, if the bride wants to give a ring to the groom, she should be advised to give the ring after the Hupa ceremony, in the Yihud room. But if at the Hupa the bride wishes to give a ring, and the Rabbi wants to avoid making a spectacle under the Hupa, he should inform the bride that this is only a gift and is not significant as far as the Kiddushin is considered.
This discussion reminds us of how much care must be taken at the wedding ceremony to ensure that every detail is performed properly and according to Halacha. Some people mistakenly assume that they can enhance the wedding ceremony by adding their own features. But the double ring ceremony is a classic case of "Kol Ha’mosif Gore’a" – that by adding, one actually detracts. Care must be taken to ensure that every stage is done in precise accordance with the accepted Halacha.
Summary: Kiddushin is performed by the groom giving a ring to the bride. If the bride also wishes to give a ring to the groom, this should be done after the Hupa, and not as part of the ceremony. If she insists on giving a ring under the Hupa, the Rabbi should first make it clear that this is simply a gift and is not part of Kiddushin.
