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The Proper Procedure for Sheba Berachot That is Not Held in the Couple’s Home

According to the Shulhan Aruch, the seven special blessings of the "Sheba Berachot" are recited after a meal held during the week after a wedding only if the meal takes place in the couple’s home. Nowadays, most Sheba Berachot celebrations are held in the homes of friends and relatives, or in restaurants or banquet halls, and thus in most situations, according to the Shulhan Aruch, the Sheba Berachot are not all recited.

Several authorities, including Hacham Ovadia Yosef and Hacham Ben Sion Abba Shaul (Israel, 1923-1998), rule that Sepharadim should abide by this ruling, and recite all seven Berachot only if the meal is held in the couple’s home. Rabbi Moshe Halevi (Israel, 1961-2001), however, in his work Birkat Hashem, writes that the Shulhan Aruch might agree that under contemporary circumstances all seven Berachot should be recited regardless of where the meal is held. I brought this question to Hacham Baruch Ben-Haim, who informed me that he personally does not recite all seven Berachot if the meal is not held in the couple’s home, in accordance with the Shulhan Aruch’s ruling, but he does not object to those who follow the other view.

In any event, there is considerable confusion regarding the proper procedure to follow when the meal is not held in the couple’s home, and only two of the seven Berachot are recited. People often ask whether one or two cups of wine should be used, which Berachot are recited, and which sequence should be followed.

It is clear from several sources, including the Hid"a (Rav Haim Yosef David Azulai, 1724-1806) in his Haim Sha’al (1:44), the Siddur Bet Obed (by Rav Yehuda Shemuel Ashkenazi, Italy, 19th century), and Eretz Haim Sit’hon (by Rav Haim Sit’hon of Safed, early 20th century; Eben Ha’ezer 62), that only one cup of wine is used in such a case. Immediately after Birkat Hamazon, the one leading Birkat Hamazon recites the Beracha of "Boreh Peri Ha’gefen," followed by the final of the Sheba Berachot – "Asher Bara Sasson Ve’simha…" If the hosts wish, they may ask somebody else to recite the second Beracha, the Beracha of "Asher Bara."

Both Berachot are recited over the same cup of wine, because in this situation, where only two Berachot are recited, they are recited as an extension of Birkat Hamazon, and not as a separate text. Therefore, only cup is used for both Berachot.

After the Berachot are recited, the one reciting the Berachot drinks from the cup, and then pours some wine for the bride and groom. The one who drank – assuming he drank a Rebi’it – then recites the Beracha Aharona ("Al Ha’gefen Ve’al Peri Ha’gefen…").

This procedure follows the ruling of Rabbi Moshe Halevi, in his work Birkat Hashem (vol. 4, p. 394; listen to audio recording for precise citation).

Summary: When the Sheba Berachot celebration is not held in the new couple’s home, only two Berachot are recited after Birkat Hamazon – the Beracha over the wine ("Boreh Peri Ha’gefen"), and "Asher Bara." Both Berachot are recited over the same cup of wine.

 


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