Each morning we recite as part our prayer service the first Mishna in Masechet Pe’a which lists those Misvot for which one partakes of the "fruit" in this world, while the "principal" remains intact for him in the next world. In the actual text of the Mishna, this list includes the three Misvot of Bikur Holim (visiting the sick), Hachnasat Kalla (helping a couple get married and set up their home), and Levayat Ha’met (bringing a deceased person, Heaven forbid, to burial). Interestingly, the Mishna lists these Misvot in this exact order – Bikur Holim, Hachnasat Kalla, and Levayat Ha’met. The question arises as to why the joyous, festive Misva of Hachnasat Kalla is mentioned in between two Misvot that involve unfortunate circumstances – illness and death. Why does the Mishna arrange these three Misvot in this sequence?
Rav Haim Kreiswirth (1918-2001), Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Merkaz HaTorah in Jerusalem and Chief Rabbi of Antwerp, Belgium, related that he heard an insight into this Mishna from the Steipler Gaon (Rav Yaakov Kanievsky, 1899-1985). Rav Kreiswirth visited the Steipler Gaon for advice as he was suffering from a grave illness. The Gaon told him that the Mishna places the Misva of Hachnasat Kalla in between the Misvot of visiting the sick and attending funerals because it has the power to disrupt the natural process of illness and death. Although serious illness very often can lead to death, Heaven forbid, this process can be halted through the Misva of Hachnasat Kalla, by working to assist couples who wish to get married. Upon hearing this insight, Rav Kreiswirth immediately began devoting himself to fundraising on behalf of needy brides and grooms, and, Baruch Hashem, he lived another 25 years.
There is another insight by the Rebbe of Nikelsberg which further highlights the significance of this Misva. The Rebbe commented that if a person lends assistance to a couple so they could marry and build a home, he receives reward not only for the happiness he brought them and the Misvot that they observe in the home, but also for all the Torah and Misvot performed by all their descendants, for eternity. Anyone who helps a couple set up their home in essence facilitates their begetting children, and their children’s children, for all generations, and he thus receives reward for all the Torah and Misvot that result from this marriage. Assisting a needy bride and groom is thus an invaluable investment, as it continues paying enormous "dividends" forever.
We can get a sense of how this works from the tragic story of Kayin and Hebel. After Kayin murdered his brother, God told him that "the sound of your brother’s blood shouts out to Me from the ground" (Bereshit 4:10). The word "blood" is written in the plural form ("Demeh," as opposed to "Dam"), as though to say "bloods." The commentators explain that God refers here to the lives of all of Hebel’s potential descendants, which never came into existence because of Kayin’s crime. Kayin was held accountable not only for the single life that he took, but also for all the descendants of Hebel that were never born. If so, then we cannot even imagine the rewards for one who helps a couple get married and build a home. Our Sages teach us that God’s kindness is five hundred times greater than His judgment, and thus if Kayin was punished so severely for taking one life, the rewards for helping to create a new Jewish home are incalculable. It is therefore worthwhile for all of us to devote ourselves to this great Misva, and lend as much assistance as we can to brides and grooms in need of support.
