After the Hupa ceremony at a wedding, the women greet the bride, and the men greet the groom, in the banquet hall with music, dancing, festivity and celebration. The wedding celebration is referred to with the word "Hilula," a derivative of the word "Hallel" ("praise"), indicating that words of praise should be spoken to the bride and groom. The men and women should be seated separated, and a high Mehisa (barrier) should separate between them. A bride and groom are considered like a king and queen, and thus just as at royal parties the men and women were seated separately – as we know from Ahashverosh’s feast described in Megilat Ester – the men and women should be separated at the celebration of a bride and groom, as well.
Although one is required to accord honor to a bride and groom at the wedding and during the subsequent week, as they are considered like a king and queen, one is not required to stand in their presence. Moreover, a bride and groom must stand out of respect for a Torah scholar or elderly person, like everyone else. Their special status does not absolve them of the obligation to give honor to Torah scholars and the elderly.
The wedding meal should include meat and wine, as the Magen Abraham (Rabbi Abraham Gombiner, Poland, 1637-1683) ruled (in Siman 249) that every "Se’udat Misva" must include meat and wine. The Halachic authorities rule that the obligation could be fulfilled through poultry, though it is preferable to have red meat.
The work Yafeh La’leb writes that the site of the wedding feast should be well-lit, as this adds to the joy and festivity of the atmosphere. The hall should also be decorated with flowers, to enhance the festive, "regal" aura of the event.
When planning a wedding, people must ensure that money is not wasted on the expenses. Although the wedding should be respectable, it must not be ostentatious. The value of "Hasne’a Lechet" (walking humbly before God) demands modesty when hosting an event, and not making it overly elaborate. Throughout the generations, Rabbis would issue guidelines limiting the expenditures that were allowed when making weddings, to ensure that money which could be used for charitable causes is not squandered on an event. By the same token, arrangements should be made in advance to ensure that food is not wasted. There are always large amounts of perfectly edible food left over at weddings, and the hosts should ensure ahead of time that the leftover food is collected and distributed where it is needed, such as yeshivot or needy families. Planning a wedding with the knowledge that food will go to waste is in violation of the prohibition of "Bal Tash’hit" (wasting food).
(Based on the work Nit’eh Gabriel – Nisu’in by Rav Gavriel Zinner, vol. 1, chapter 39, pp. 230-234)
Summary: Men and women should be seated separately at weddings. The wedding feast should include wine and meat (preferably red meat). The room should be well-lit and decorated with flowers, but care should be taken not to waste money – that could be used for charitable causes – on wedding expenditures. Arrangements must also be made to collect the leftover food, to avoid violating the prohibition of "Bal Tash’hit."
