The Shulhan Aruch (Eben Ha’ezer 13) rules that if a woman is widowed or divorced at the time when she is pregnant, or while she is nursing an infant, she may not remarry until the infant reaches the age of twenty-four months. The Sages enacted this prohibition out of concern that the woman, in her desire to remarry, and realizing that her options are more limited while she nurses an infant, may try to wean the child to raise the chances of finding a husband. Twenty-four months is the age when babies would generally stop nursing, and the Sages feared that a child would be endangered if the mother discontinued breastfeeding before that age. They therefore enacted that a woman who is divorced or widowed while she is pregnant or nursing should not get married, or even accept Kiddushin (Halachic betrothal), until the child is twenty-four months old. This ensures that she will continue nursing the child until he or she reaches the age of twenty-four months.
The Sages extended this enactment even to a situation where the woman hired a wet nurse to feed the infant. In such a case, the woman in any event is not needed to nurse the child, but the Sages nevertheless forbade her to remarry before the child reaches the age of twenty-four months. Tosafot (commentaries by Medieval French and German Talmudic scholars) explain that the Sages were concerned that the wet nurse might quit the job before the child is twenty-four months old, so the woman must be prepared to breastfeed even if she hired a nurse. In fact, the Sages went so far as to apply this Halacha even in other situations where the concern does not seem to arise. For example, even if the woman hired two nurses, or hired one wet nurse and arranged an escrow whereby the nurse would lose money if she quits the job before twenty-four months, the woman may still not marry until after the twenty-four months. Likewise, the prohibition applies even if the nurse swore on oath not to quit the job before twenty-four months, and even if the child stopped nursing well before the end of twenty-four months. In all these cases, the prohibition applies despite the fact that the child will not be endangered if the mother stops nursing. The Sages were concerned that if they allowed the woman to remarry under these conditions, she might remarry even under ordinary conditions, thus endangering the child.
There may, however, be certain circumstances in which this prohibition does not apply. In future editions of Daily Halacha, we will discuss possible exceptions to this rule and how a woman could perhaps circumvent this prohibition under certain circumstances.
Summary: As a general rule, if a woman is divorced or widowed while she is pregnant or nursing, she may not remarry until the infant reaches the age of twenty-four months.
