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Remarrying in a Different County After Divorce or a Wife’s Death

The Gemara in Masechet Yoma (18) writes that it is forbidden for a man to marry two women in different countries. Even though Torah law allows a man to marry more than wife, one may not marry a woman in one country and a second woman in another country. The reason, the Gemara explains, is that the children of the first wife and the children of the second wife will not grow up as siblings, and will thus not be aware of the fact that they are part of the same family. It will therefore be possible for the son of one wife to end up marrying the daughter of the other wife, as they will not know that they are paternal siblings. For this reason, even in the times when it was permissible to marry more than one wife, it was forbidden to marry two wives in two different countries.

At first glance, this Halacha has no practical application nowadays, when it has become accepted not to marry more than one wife. Rabbenu Gershom Me’or Hagola enacted a Herem (ban) against polygamy, and although many Sephardic authorities maintain that the ban was not accepted in Sephardic communities, nevertheless, Sephardic communities have followed the custom of establishing such a ban as a communal custom. In fact, many communities add a clause in the Ketuba (marriage contract) in which the groom explicitly commits himself not to marry a second wife. Seemingly, then, the Gemara’s ruling forbidding marrying two women in two separate countries has no application nowadays.

The Aruch Ha’shulhan (Rabbi Yechiel Michel Epstein of Nevarduk, (1829-1908), however, raises the question of whether the Gemara’s concern might have application even in modern times. He discusses the common case of a man who married, has children, and then, Heaven forbid, divorces or loses his wife. He then relocates in a different country, and remarries there. Seemingly, the Gemara’s concern applies in this case, too. If the man begets children from his second wife, those children will grow up without knowing the children from the first wife, and they may thus end up marrying one another, not realizing that they are paternal siblings. Seemingly, then, we should forbid a man from remarrying a woman in a different country after divorce or the death of his wife in his previous country of residence. Yet, as the Aruch Ha’shulhan noted, we never find mention of such a ruling in the Halachic sources, and common custom is to allow remarriage in a different country.

To support the common custom not to ban remarriage in a different country, the Aruch Ha’shulhan suggested that the Halacha does not apply in modern times due to the fast and efficient communication between different parts of the world. He explained that the efficient mail service ensures that a remarried father will maintain regular contact with his children from his first wife in his former country of residence. Those children will thus be well aware of the children born to the second wife, and there is therefore no concern that they will marry each other. Needless to say, worldwide communication has improved drastically even since the time of the Aruch Ha’shulhan, with sophisticated systems such as telephones, cell phones, email and video conferencing so readily available. Certainly, then, in our times, it is certain that children from a father’s different marriages will be aware of one another, and there is no concern that they will marry each other. As such, it is entirely permissible for a man to remarry even though he has children from a previous marriage in a different country.

Summary: A man who divorces his wife or whose wife passes away may remarry in a different country, despite the fact that in ancient times, when polygamy was permissible, it was forbidden to have two wives in two different countries.

 


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