King Shelomo teaches in the Book of Mishleh (10:18), "U’mosi Diba Hu Kesil" ("one who divulges negative information is a fool"). The Sages inferred from this verse that it is improper to go out of one’s way to unnecessarily report bad tidings. Thus, for example, when a person passes away, it is sometimes advisable to withhold this information from an elderly relative, rather than forcing that relative into a state of Abelut. Needless to say, these decisions should be made very delicately and after consultation with a competent Halachic scholar.
The Sefer Ha’hasidim (by Rabbenu Yehuda Ha’hasid, Germany, 1150-1217), in Siman 802, imposes a significant restriction on this Halacha (listen to audio recording for precise citation). He writes that it applies only when there is no benefit yielded by reporting the bad tidings. When, however, relaying the information serves a beneficial purpose, one must certainly report the news. The Sefer Ha’hasidim cites the example of Abraham Avinu, who was informed that his nephew, Lot, was taken into captivity (Bereshit 14:13). Relaying this information was necessary so that Abraham could go rescue Lot, and was thus certainly appropriate under the circumstances. Similarly, the Gemara on several occasions tells of Rabbis who were informed of somebody who had fallen ill, so that they could go visit the patient and lift his spirits. Therefore, it is certainly appropriate to inform a Rabbi of somebody who is ill so he could go visit, and to convey the information to friends and relatives so they could visit the patient or offer assistance.
Likewise, the Torah tells (Bereshit 48:1) that Yosef was informed of his father’s grave illness. We know from a number of sources that there is immense value for a parent to speak to his children before his death. Indeed, the Sages teach that Yaakob specifically prayed to Hashem that he should fall ill before his death, so he would have advanced warning of his imminent passing and would thus be able to speak to his children before his death. And a number of works – including Ma’abar Yaok and Nit’eh Gabriel – emphasize the importance of family members being at the side of their loved one when he or she passes away. Therefore, when a person falls dangerously ill, the family members must be notified so that they can be by their loved one’s side during his final moments.
Summary: When a person falls dangerously ill, it is important to notify their family members so that they can be with their loved one before his or her death. Likewise, when somebody is ill, it is important to notify his or her Rabbi or others who could visit the patient or offer other forms of assistance. One should not, however, report bad tidings unnecessarily, and one should seek Rabbinic guidance in such situations to determine the proper mode of conduct.
