The Purim Meal – The Proper Time for the Meal, the Participation of a Mourner, Studying Torah Before and During the Meal
One of the Misvot that apply on Purim is the obligation of a Se’uda – to eat a festive meal. Halacha requires eating this meal on Purim day; one does not fulfill the obligation of Se’udat Purim by eating a meal on Purim eve. It is admirable to have a festive meal on the night of Purim, as well, but the obligation of Se’udat Purim requires eating a festive meal specifically by day.
Strictly speaking, one can fulfill this Misva anytime on Purim day, until sundown. However, the custom of the Rashash (Rabbi Shalom Sharabi, Yemen-Israel, 1720-1777), based upon Kabbalistic teaching, was to conduct the meal specifically in the morning. This custom is cited by the Kaf Ha’haim (Rav Yaakob Haim Sofer, Baghdad-Israel, 1870-1939), in Siman 695 (23), and by the Shela (Rav Yeshaya Horowitz, 1565-1630). Thus, those who wish to fulfill the Misva in accordance with the teachings of Kabbalah should eat a festive meal in the morning, at breakfast. Of course, one may also have another meal later in the day.
May a mourner, who is within twelve months of a parent’s passing, Heaven forbid, attend Se’udat Purim?
Hacham Ovadia Yosef ruled that a mourner may fully participate in a Purim celebration, even outside his home, provided that there is no music played at the event.
The Rama (Rabbi Moshe Isserless of Cracow, Poland, 1525-1572) writes that one should make a point of studying Torah before the Se’udat Purim. Commenting on the verse in Megilat Ester (8:16), "The Jews had light and joy," the Sages explained that "light" refers to Torah learning. Thus, it is proper to spend some time learning Torah – engaging in "light" – before involving oneself in the "joy" of the Purim feast.
One should sing songs of praise to God during the Purim meal.
Ordinarily, it is proper to leave something empty at the table, such as an empty space or an empty utensil, to signify our anguish over the destruction of the Temple. On Purim, however, this is not necessary, and one may fill the entire table with delights in celebration of this special festive occasion.
Summary: There is an obligation to eat a festive meal on the day of Purim; one does not fulfill this obligation on Purim night. The meal may be conducted anytime on Purim day, until sundown, but according to Kabbalistic teaching it should take place in the morning. A mourner may attend a Purim feast provided there is no music played. It is proper to study Torah before the Purim meal. One does not have to leave an empty setting or dish at the Purim meal in commemoration of the Temple’s destruction, as is customary at ordinary meals.
**2nd Halacha:
Se’udat Purim – Eating Bread and Meat and Drinking Wine at the Meal
It is proper to eat bread at the Se’udat Purim, and of course one should wash Netilat Yadayim as is always required before eating bread. It is also preferable to eat red meat at the Purim meal, in accordance with the principle, "En Simha Ela Be’basar" ("There is no joy other than meat"). The obligation to eat a festive meal on Purim requires "Simha" ("joy"), which refers specifically to red meat. One should therefore try to include red meat at the Purim meal, rather than eating only other foods such as poultry or fish.
The Rambam (Rabbi Moshe Maimonides, Spain-Egypt, 1135-1204), in describing the proper way to conduct the Se’udat Purim (listen to audio recording for precise citation), writes that one should drink "Yayin" – wine. It is clear from the Rambam’s wording that one should drink specifically wine, and not other intoxicating beverages. Unfortunately, many people mistakenly think that they fulfill a Misva by drinking different kinds of intoxicating beverages on Purim. This is incorrect; the Misva requires drinking specifically wine, in commemoration of the feasts which took place during the Purim story, which the Megila explicitly describes as "Mishteh Hayayin" – feasts of wine.
Women are included in the obligation of the Purim feast. However, women should not become intoxicated, as this would violate proper standards of modesty. Instead, women should drink small amounts of wine to fulfill the Misva, without becoming inebriated.
Ordinarily, a woman should refrain from eating meat on the day before her immersion in a Mikveh. Meat has the tendency to leave particles wedged in between the teeth, and foreign particles in the mouth constitute a "Hasisa" ("interruption") that invalidates the immersion. It is therefore customary for women not to eat meat on the day prior to their immersion. On Purim, however, due to the Misva to eat meat, a woman may eat meat even if she is scheduled to immerse in the Mikveh on the night following Purim. She must ensure to thoroughly brush and floss her teeth prior to the immersion, to ensure that no particles remain in her teeth. But given the importance of eating meat as part of the Purim celebration, the custom to refrain from meat before immersion does not apply on Purim.
Summary: It is proper to eat bread and red meat, and drink wine, at the Purim meal. There is no Misva to drink intoxicating beverages other than wine. Women are included in the obligation of Se’udat Purim, and should drink a small amount of wine; it is considered immodest, however, for women to become intoxicated. A woman who is scheduled to immerse in the Mikveh on the night after Purim may eat meat on Purim, even though it is normally customary not to eat meat on the day before immersion.
