The Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909) presented a list of customs that many people observe upon arriving home from the synagogue on Friday night, based upon the teachings of the Arizal (Rav Yishak Luria of Safed, 1534-1572). When a person first comes home, he should go to his place at the table and announce in a loud, exuberant voice, "Shabbat Shalom." If his parents are present, he should kiss their hands. Afterward, he should look at the Shabbat candles and have in mind that the two candles correspond to the obligations of "Zachor" ("remembering" Shabbat) and "Shamor" (observing the prohibitions of Shabbat), as well as to the two Heh’s that appear in the Divine Name of Havaya. If a person’s custom is to light more than two candles, he nevertheless looks at only two of the candles with the intention described. After looking at the candles, one should stand at his place at the table and announce in a loud voice, "Da Hi Se’udata Da’hakal Tapihin Kadishin" (as written in the Siddurim).
The Ben Ish Hai records a custom that some people observe to walk around the Shabbat table before the meal, starting from one’s right. After encircling the table, one stands at his original place and takes two Hadas branches, one in each hand, corresponding to "Zachor" and "Shamor." One recites the Beracha, smells the Hadasim, and then recites, "Zachor Ve’shamor Be’dibur Ehad Ne’emaru" ("Zachor and Shamor were said in a single utterance") and "Re’ah Niho’ah Isheh L’Hashem" ("A pleasing fragrance, an offering to God"). At that point, one encircles the table a second time, still carrying the Hadasim, until he returns to his place. He then transfers the Hadas in his left hand to his right hand, such that he holds both branches in his right hand, and sings "Shalom Alechem" while holding both Hadas branches in his right hand.
The Ben Ish Hai notes different views as to whether one should recite in "Shalom Alechem" the text of "Melech Malcheh Ha’melachim" or "Mi’Melech Malcheh Ha’melachim." He rules that the proper text is "Melech Malcheh Ha’melachim."
Upon completing the recitation of "Shalom Alechem," one should recite the verses of "Ki Malachav" and "Hashem Yishmor Setcha," followed immediately by "Eshet Hayil." While reciting "Eshet Hayil," one should have in mind that the twenty-two verses of this chapter correspond to the twenty-two letters of the Hebrew alphabet, which signify the twenty-two pipelines through which God bestows blessing upon the world from the heavens. After "Eshet Hayil," one should recite the "Azamer Bi’shbahin" hymn, which was composed by the Arizal, followed by the prayer of "Yeheh Ra’ava Kameh." Some have the custom at this point to recite a passage from the Zohar ‘Yoma Da.’
The Ben Ish Hai notes that the Arizal composed "Azamer Bi’shbahin" as a hymn to be recited during the Friday night meal, but the prevalent custom is to recite it before Kiddish. Nevertheless, he adds, in situations where reciting this hymn before Kiddush would pose some difficulty or inconvenience, it may be recited later, during the meal.
The practices described here are not obligatory according to strict Halacha, and are instead customs that some people observe and others do not. Certainly, each person should adhere to his family’s custom. Nevertheless, these practices reflect the unique sacred quality with which our tradition views the Shabbat meal. The meals we eat on Shabbat are fundamentally different than meals eaten during the week, and they should be approached and treated as a special spiritual experience, and not simply as hearty meals.
