The observance of Purim entails several different Misvot, including the Megila reading, the Purim meal, Matanot La’ebyonim (gifts to the needy) and Mishlo’ah Manot (sending food packages to others).
The Rambam (Rabbi Moshe Maimonides, Spain-Egypt, 1135-1204), in Hilchot Megila (2:17), writes explicitly that the obligation of Matanot La’ebyonim takes priority over the other obligations of Purim (listen to audio for precise citation). He emphasizes that it is preferable to spend less on Mishlo’ah Manot and the Purim meal in order to increase one’s spending on Matanot La’ebyonim. There is no greater joy, the Rambam writes, then helping the needy, bringing joy to their hearts and lifting their downtrodden spirits. One who does so, the Rambam adds, follows the example of the Almighty Himself, who revives lowly spirits and brings hope to those in despair.
The Maggid Mishne commentary makes the following brief remark on the Rambam’s comments: "The words of our Rabbi are worthy of him." Meaning, the Rambam, who worked as a caring and devoted physician, understood as well as anyone the importance and significance of helping those in need and lifting their spirits. Having spent many hours a day treating ailing patients, the Rambam personally exemplified the value of kindness to other people, and his example is reflected in his ruling concerning Matanot La’ebyonim.
Unfortunately, many people fail to abide by this important Halacha. The practice has evolved for parents to prepare Mishlo’ah Manot packages for each of their children’s twenty-some-odd friends, and spend large sums of money on unnecessary snacks and candy, most of which usually goes to waste. Of course, Mishlo’ah Manot is also a Misva, and one must give gifts to some friends on Purim. But, as the Rambam so forcefully emphasized, we must give priority to Matanot La’ebyonim, to supporting people in need and the organizations who help them. It is therefore proper to limit one’s spending on Mishlo’ah Manot packages and to use the money instead to help the underprivileged.
This is particularly so this year, when, unfortunately, so many people both in our community and elsewhere are experiencing financial hardship and finding it difficult to cover even their most basic expenses. What a shame it would be under current conditions to spend money on unnecessary food products that would go to waste, instead of using those funds to donate to the many charitable organizations that desperately need our help. In my family, it was decided that this year, instead of sending Mishlo’ah Manot to all my children’s friends, we will instead make donations to worthy causes and send the friends cards informing them that a donation has been made in their honor. This way, we not only fulfill the Rambam’s directive to prioritize Matanot La’ebyonim, but also teach our children this valuable lesson in proper priorities.
One should not be afraid of being a "trend setter" in this regard. Even if one feels that his friends anticipate costly, lavish Mishlo’ah Manot packages, he should nevertheless endeavor to set the trend among his peers of cutting back on Mishlo’ah Manot in favor of Matanot La’ebyonim.
The needy and underprivileged are God’s children. If we show our care, concern and compassion for the Almighty’s children, then He will, in turn, bless us and our children with much health, happiness and success.
