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The Importance of Forgiveness, and the Dangers of Anger

The 17th of Shevat (which is today Feb 2 2018), marks the Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Haim Palachi of Izmir, Turkey (1788-1869), and today’s Halacha will therefore discuss a passage from his famous work, Kaf Ha’haim (1:4; listen to audio recording for precise citation).

Rav Haim Palachi speaks of the importance of granting forgiveness to those have caused one humiliation, calling this quality "the cure for everything." If a person is patient and tolerant with people and does not grow angry at them for offending him, this reaction is more effective in earning him forgiveness for his sins than fasting and other forms of self-affliction. Rav Haim adds that one should not even feel any resentment in his heart toward those who offended him. Harboring ill will rather than foregoing on one’s honor constitutes sheer arrogance, and is included in the admonition, "Anyone with an arrogant heart is an abomination to God" (Mishleh 16:5).

Rav Haim cites in this context a comment in Abot De’Rabbi Natan where the Sages infer this lesson from Moshe Rabbenu, who was punished for growing angry at Beneh Yisrael. If Moshe, the greatest of all prophets, was wrong for reacting angrily, then certainly we, who are nowhere near his stature, must be prepared to forego on our honor and forgive wrongs committed against us.

Refusing to grant forgiveness is the source of all "Mahloket" – controversy and strife. In this vein, Rav Haim explains the verse in Yehezkel (7:25), "Kefada Ba Ubikshu Shalom Va’ayin." He interprets this to mean, "When anger comes – they search for peace, but it is not there." In other words, when people are insistent and inflexible, unwilling to give in and forego, peace becomes impossible to obtain.

Additionally, a tendency to anger causes a person to forget his Torah learning. When Yaakob returned to Israel from Laban’s home, the Torah writes, "he arrived complete" (Bereshit 33:18), which the Sages understood to mean that his Torah knowledge was intact. Rav Haim explains that Yaakob was able to retain his knowledge because of his commitment to peace, as indicated by his wish before he left Israel, "I shall return in peace to my father’s home" (Bereshit 28:21). This, too, may be the meaning of the aforementioned verse in Yehezkel, which speaks of peace being unattainable when anger abounds. Anger causes people to forget their Torah learning, which results in disputes and disagreements in all matters of Torah, thus precluding the possibility of peaceful relations among Jews.

Rav Haim admonishes that nobody can enjoy God’s blessings when he is plagued by Mahloket. He notes that he has seen with his own eyes that every man, woman, family, city and country that was beset by controversy and fighting suffered devastating harm, either physical or financial. It is therefore imperative for all people to avoid anger to the very best of their ability, as anger is the root cause of fighting and controversy. Indeed, the Zohar writes that anger causes terrible damage to a person’s spirit, and one who allows himself to grow angry is considered as though he worshipped idols.

We must therefore train ourselves in the quality of forgiveness and humility so that we avoid anger and thereby bring the blessings of peace and material and spiritual success upon ourselves, our families and our communities, Amen.


 


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